If you are working with someone who appears to be struggling, is frequently anxious, short-tempered or low and depressed, consider asking your colleague in private what is wrong and how you might help. Talking to a colleague in this way can be difficult but it is not necessary to be an expert in mental health to start a conversation of this nature. It’s important to remember that talking could make all the difference to your colleague’s mental health.
Here are some tips that might help.
- Find a suitable place, ideally outside of the office; perhaps a café or go for a walk.
- The conversation could be started with a simple ‘How are you?’ Once a person knows they are being given the space and time to talk, they often will.
- Actively listen to the person, and give them your undivided attention. Keep your phone switched on silent and refrain from looking at your watch.
- Don’t interrupt - try to leave any questions or comments you may have until the person has finished.
- Ask open questions: – What support do you have in place? What would you like to happen in this situation?”
- Use positive body language, and encourage the person to continue with small verbal comments like ‘I see’ or ‘what happened next?’
- Check your understanding by paraphrasing what the person has said back to them.
- Respond by using empathetic statements such as: “I appreciate this must be difficult for you…”
- Avoid clichés. Comments like ‘pull yourself together’ or ‘what will be, will be’ are not helpful.
- Don’t make the conversation about you: avoid saying things like ‘I know how you feel’ or ‘The same thing happened to me.’
- The important thing is to listen, rather than give advice, the individual needs to be able to act for themselves.
- Be reassuring and signpost them to support such as LawCare, HR, another colleague or suggest they visit their GP
