When a colleague is grieving: what you can do
Find out more about the different types of grief and loss, what we’re hearing on the LawCare helpline, and how you can better support a colleague who may be struggling.
Grief is a personal experience that can affect anyone at any time. Each person reacts to and expresses grief differently, which can make it challenging to recognise in the workplace, especially if people feel they have to hide their emotions. It's important to acknowledge and support colleagues who have suffered a loss, as it can seriously impact their wellbeing and job performance.
Understanding different forms of grief and loss
Grief is usually associated with the death of someone very close, such as a parent, partner, sibling, or friend, and workplaces often recognise this and offer support in these situations. However, grief can arise from losing someone who wasn't as close, like a colleague, client, or acquaintance.
People can also experience loss in other ways, not just when someone dies. For example, people may feel grief in advance when they know a loved one is facing a terminal illness or dementia. This kind of grief can be tough and last a long time, especially if the person is also dealing with the stress of caring for that person too.
Miscarriage is another significant source of grief. This loss can be intense, yet it’s often misunderstood or dismissed, particularly for men who may find it difficult to discuss their feelings.
The loss of a pet can also be profoundly affecting, comparable to the loss of a human family member for some. The guilt of having to make the difficult decision to euthanize a pet can add another layer of complexity to the grieving process.
"No matter what causes feelings of grief and loss, it’s important to create a supportive environment where everyone feels safe sharing their experiences and getting the help they need."
Insights from LawCare’s helpline
LawCare’s helpline provides valuable insights into how grief can impact people working in the legal sector. Common experiences include:
- Feeling overwhelmed and exhausted: Grief can make you feel deeply overwhelmed, affecting your ability to handle daily tasks and responsibilities. This exhaustion can make it hard to deal with work and personal challenges.
- Worsening of other issues: Grief can make existing stress and problems worse. For instance, if someone is already feeling overworked or anxious, these feelings can become stronger after a loss. This added strain can make handling everyday tasks even more difficult.
- Pressure and expectations: Society often expects people to carry on as normal and continue to meet high standards, which can be stressful. People may feel they have to hide their emotions and push through, leading to a lack of rest or even burnout.
- No set timeline: Grief doesn’t have a specific schedule. It can come and go or change over time and can be triggered by future losses or anniversaries. It’s important to know there’s no “right” way or time frame for grieving, and to support others accordingly.
How to support colleagues who are struggling
- Offer simple support: A simple “How are you doing?” or “Is there anything I can do to help?” can be comforting and shows that you care. It also gives them a chance to talk about their feelings if they want to.
- Be considerate of personal preferences: People react to workplace activities and interactions in different ways. Some might want to avoid social events or need time alone, while others might find comfort in joining in. Be aware of how certain situations or conversations might affect someone who is grieving.
- Follow up: Grief doesn’t just go away after a certain time. Keep checking in with colleagues and friends even after the initial loss. Ongoing support is important as their grief may change over time.
- Avoid assumptions: Everyone handles grief differently. Instead of guessing what someone needs or how they feel, listen carefully and ask how you can best support them.
- Encourage professional help: If someone’s grief seems like it might be turning into something more such as depression, suggest they talk to a GP or a mental health professional for extra support.
Find further support
If you or someone you know is having a hard time with grief, extra help is available. Counselling, therapy, and support services can offer valuable assistance during difficult times. For confidential support, consider reaching out to LawCare or Cruse:
- LawCare: Call 0800 279 6888 or email [email protected]. Live online chat is available on LawCare's website.
- Cruse: Call 0808 808 1677 or visit www.cruse.org.uk for more information.
We also have other resources on about grief, loss and bereavement.
We're here to listen...without judgement