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LawCare News Spring 2012
LawCare - the 2011 Statistics
LawCare opened 392 case files in 2011, with 1,342 further calls involving
follow up related to these original calls, and 107 calls made by
volunteers to lawyers they had been asked to support.
This is a lower number of lawyers helped than in previous years. It is
believed that the reason for this is that we were unable to advertise
during 2011 due to lack of funds. A £30,000 cut in LawCare's funding meant
that in order to preserve the core helpline service we were forced to make
cuts elsewhere in our budget. This funding has now been replaced and we
have already placed adverts in 2012.
By far the most common issue callers reported was stress, at 69% of the
calls. This was followed by depression (15%), alcohol (7%) and other
issues, including eating disorders and drugs, making up the remaining 9%.
271 of the callers were able to identify a specific cause for their
problem, as follows:
"It Worked for Me"
Some people prefer to seek healing through routes other than drugs,
medical intervention or counselling, or to run alternative approaches in
tandem with conventional treatments. In each issue LawCare News features
an article about an alternative therapy options, which it is hoped some
readers might find helpful. We invite practitioners to contact LawCare
about what their form of alternative therapy can offer, with particular
reference to the legal profession, and we will consider including an
article about them. However, LawCare will not be recommending or endorsing
these treatments or belief systems, and would advise anyone suffering from
an illness or physical or mental health issue to contact their GP in the
first instance.
Hypnotherapy
by a LawCare Volunteer
I drove into the deserted car park, parked the car, stopped the engine and
took a deep breath. From somewhere, deep down inside me, a seemingly
endless series of dreadful, breath-stopping, gut-wrenching sobs welled up
and burst out. On and on it went. Just like a little child, I couldn't
stop myself. My lungs ached, my sides hurt.
I wasn't in control of myself. And that was the most frightening part.
You see, I have always been in control. Ever since I can remember, I had
always known that I had to depend upon myself, no one else was going to do
it for me and I had to just get on with it. It was deeply shocking and
traumatic to realise that I was no longer a fully functioning, effective
and useful person. Others had always depended on me. That was, after all,
who I was. In my late 40’s, I was the reliable husband, father, employer
and general confidante and adviser to my clients. And now, at a stroke, I
couldn't fulfil that role. My insides churned. What was to become of me,
my family and my career? All I could see before me was a black hole and I
was falling into it.
Something, however, of the old me was still there because despite these
horrifying thoughts, I knew I had to do something. I had, in fact, known
that something was up before I even got into the car that morning although
I hadn't been prepared for the enormity of what had just happened.
Obviously, I had, deep down, known that I needed some help as I had
brought with me the number for LawCare. I dialled it into the carphone.
Through the tears, sobs, hesitations and embarrassment, I managed to tell
the lady who answered how I was feeling. She was very supportive, told me
that what she had just heard were classic symptoms of depression and
suggested that I should go, immediately, to see my doctor. She took my
details and said that another lawyer would be in touch.
Being diagnosed, in this way, was something of a relief. Many people had
depression. Not that I knew anything about it but I knew that I could go
to the doctor, I could tell him how I was feeling and he would explain to
me why I was feeling this way and he would fix it. Or so I thought.
I went to the doctor. I told him how I was feeling. He gave me pills and
told me to take time off. I was shocked. This wasn't what I had expected.
I needed to know why I was feeling this despair and how to get better. A
pill wasn't going to tell me. I asked him if I could see someone in mental
health and he, somewhat reluctantly, referred me to a psychiatrist. As,
however, with all NHS referrals, you have to wait for an appointment. But
I couldn't wait. I knew the local psychiatrist as he was a client and so I
phoned him. He said, yes, he would be able to see me but there was a
waiting list of about 5 to 6 months.
I was shocked, again. I could hardly make the decisions necessary to make
a cup of tea so I knew I was incapable of working but, on the other hand,
I was self-employed and couldn't afford to take that kind of time off.
The volunteer from LawCare called me and was a great practical help. With
her help, I found the strength to make the necessary arrangements for the
business. But I still had to get better. Luckily, for me, I had a secret
weapon. My wife.
I hadn't told her how I was feeling before it all happened. Mainly because
I didn't know how I was feeling. I knew that there was something wrong but
I couldn't put my finger on it. I had been short tempered and restless but
we all get times like that. My mother had died a few months previously but
I hadn't really thought about that. I did not really want to think about
it. I was over it. It was fine. I was getting on with life. My wife was
frightened too, although she didn't show it at the time. We had a very
traditional relationship. I was the only breadwinner. She brought up the
children and I brought in the money.
We talked about it. She felt that it was to do with my Mum. She moved into
action. She arranged an interview with a bereavement counsellor. I went
and it was good to talk. With the amount of crying that I did whenever my
mother was mentioned, it certainly clarified to me that she was at the
heart of it.
I was, however, dissatisfied because although I felt I was wallowing in
self-pity. Lots of people lose their parents but they don't have a
breakdown. Why had I had a breakdown? It didn't make sense.
But with the help of my wife, I, gradually, came to the realisation that
it was still up to me. I knew people who took sedatives and I didn't want
to be like that for the rest of my life. I stopped taking the pills and
determined that I was going to find someone to help me. But who?
My wife was wonderful. She started researching and we took a scattergun
approach. I was going to try anything and everything. Acupuncture, hot
stones, Reiki - you name it, I tried it! This took months. Happily for me,
after about five weeks, I managed to get back to work. I wasn't very
effective but I was producing income.
I do believe that I must have tried about 20 people before I came across a
hypnotherapist. I had no idea what a hypnotherapist was. As far as I was
concerned, this stuff was all mumbo-jumbo but, what the hell, I was
desperate! I can't say that that particular hypnotherapist was very
effective. She wasn't but I got the feeling that this was the therapy that
was going to fix me. I persevered with that lady for quite a while but I
was having to travel many miles to get to her so I tried to find someone
closer. The very first time I met my new therapist, I knew I was going to
get better. And the amazing revelation was that it wasn't her that was
going to fix me. I was going to fix me but she is going to help me do it.
In my case, age regression therapy brought to the surface of my conscious
mind, the deeply held but unconscious childish beliefs that had driven me
all my life. These beliefs had revolved around the idea that if I was a
good boy and did well my mother would come back and look after me. When my
mother was dead and unable to come back, however, these unconscious
drivers, no longer make any sense and so my brain couldn't cope and broke
down. It all makes perfect sense now but there are some things you don't
question. It's just how it is. As Mr Donald Rumsfeld said, there are some
things you don't know you don't know.
So, my advice to anyone who doesn't know why they feeling what they are
feeling is to go and see a hypnotherapist. All the therapist does it give
you the opportunity to look inside that part of your mind that you are
unconscious of. That can be a frightening thought. I remember speaking to
one person who said that they were never going to do that because there
were too many tears. Yes, there may be many tears but you will come out
the other side a functioning human being, a much better person, someone
much more appreciative of those who love you and much clearer as to your
own motivations.
It worked for me.
A Message from the Chief Executive
The Cottonwood de Tucson, a behavioural health treatment centre in
Arizona, recently commissioned a survey of the attitudes of legal
professionals towards treatment for addiction and mental health issues.
The survey sought to establish, amongst other things, whether a lawyer’s
own responses to treatment hindered recovery.
It is well recognised amongst those treating legal professionals that they
are amongst the hardest to deal with because they are trained, from day
one of preparing for their career, to excel in exactly those attitudes and
approaches which whilst making them successful lawyers, can hinder their
effective recovery from mental illness or substance abuse:
Rationalisation, Hostility, Diversion, Comparison, Intellectualisation,
Blame, Insistence on being in control, etc.
Lawyers are problem solvers, so expect to be able to deal with their own
problems, even though logic would dictate that on occasion, this requires
an expertise that they do not possess. 70% of those who took part in the
survey felt that they could manage their issue on their own, without help,
even though the evidence was that they were not doing so. 40% were afraid
of the negative impact it could have on their careers if it became known
amongst their peers, judges and clients that they had undergone treatment,
whether in-house or not. These two attitudes suggest that sufferers tend
to be solitary and isolated and afraid of the non-sympathetic attitude of
those around them. Certainly one of our helpline callers, a Solicitor,
told me that when he had tried to approach his Partners to discuss his
mental health issues and his fears for his mental wellbeing and future,
they made it quite clear that they did not want to hear what he had to say
and that all that they were interested in was that he got his work done
and brought in his share of the firm’s income.
80% of those who had undergone treatment reported that they had found it
difficult to benefit from it because they felt that they relied on their
intellect and were detached from their emotions. They also felt that they
related best to treatment professionals who understood their subject
thoroughly; could identify the lawyer’s highly developed and sophisticated
sense of being right and intellectually superior; understand that
hypotheses were tested for validity, not just from bloody-mindedness; and
appreciated the huge social and work pressures suffered by many lawyers.
At LawCare we do not claim to have a magic wand we can wave that will make
all things right. However, we have all been in practise as lawyers and so
we do know what life is like “at the coal face”. When someone rings our
helpline, we talk things through with them from a position of knowledge of
the pressures that can lead to addiction and mental health issues and
everything is discussed in total confidence. We really do appreciate every
caller’s need for confidentiality, whatever their age and status. So if
you, or someone you know, needs to talk to someone who knows what life in
practise is like, do please ring our 365 day a year, free and confidential
helpline:-
0800 279 6888
9am – 7.30 pm weekdays
10am – 4pm weekends / UK Bank Holidays
.
There is no need to struggle on alone. Help is only a phone call away.
Hilary Tilby
Many thanks to the following for their kind and generous donations to
LawCare:
Donations to LawCare can be made through our website, and are always most
welcome.
LawCare News Christmas 2011
The Legal Personality – an Asset or a Liability?
by Hilary Tilby, Chief Executive, LawCare
A practicing American lawyer, who gave up a £150,000 p.a. salary to become
an entrepreneur, says his legal training was actually an obstacle, not an
asset, in general business. Paul Mandell states that “My legal training
made me risk-averse and perfection obsessed—both of which helped in my
legal career, but were liabilities in an environment demanding quick
decisions and high productivity.” He explains that he required short-term
office space, regarding which his potential landlord offered a four-page
lease. “I spent literally days on that four-page document, researching
D.C. law, correcting typos and spacing and inserting provisions on
assignment of the contract and forum selection, to name a few—just as I
had been trained to—until the old document was unrecognisable. While the
new contract seemed perfect to me, it was totally excessive for a
month-to-month agreement. The reality was that I had just wasted tons of
time that I could have spent identifying client prospects.”
A study done of the facets of the legal personality identifies them as
being perfectionist, over conscientious, driven, competitive, ambitious,
unable to delegate, status aware and highly aspirational. All of which
also happen to be the attributes of the compulsive personality. So it can
easily be seen how exactly those facets of our personality, and those
aspects of our training and practise, that make us successful lawyers may
actually work against us in our personal lives.
Psychologist Fiona Travis, who is married to a lawyer, wrote a book titled
“Should you marry a lawyer?”, in which she quotes some of her patients
(also married to lawyers). “After a while, obsessive seriousness gets to
be their mindset, even at home. I mean, does every conversation have to
carry the weight of the world? I’m sick of being cross examined” and “As a
lawyer, she tends to rush to solve the problem. I don’t want her to swoop
in and solve the problem right away. I want to be heard and understood and
our relationship affirmed.” Travis concludes “…the same traits that spell
success in the legal workplace can also interfere with achieving
meaningful relationships in the home”.
The same problem arises if a lawyer becomes impaired by mental illness or
addiction. Health professionals agree “Laywers are the most difficult
profession to treat. From day one in law school they are encouraged to
argue. The very skills that make good lawyers make terrible patients” and
“In lawyers, elaborate rationalisation and denial are highly developed and
entrenched”.
So, my message is this. Hard though it can be, try and remember that there
is more to life than work and to leave your professional attributes at the
office. Cultivate the gentler, more considerate facets of your personality
for your home life. It isn’t easy to change your personality at the end of
the day, particularly after years in practise, but it can be done and, at
least if you are aware that this can be an issue, it may just help you to
see any damage that your high pressure legal approach may be causing
before it is too late. If we can help with this process, you only have to
ring one of the helplines and ask. We are there to support and assist you.
"It Worked for Me"
Some people prefer to seek healing through routes other than drugs,
medical intervention or counselling, or to run alternative approaches in
tandem with conventional treatments. In forthcoming editions, LawCare News
will feature articles about a number of other therapy options, which it is
hoped some readers might find helpful. We invite practitioners to contact
LawCare about what their form of alternative therapy can offer, with
particular reference to the legal profession, and we will consider
including an article about them. However, LawCare will not be recommending
or endorsing these treatments or belief systems, and would advise anyone
suffering from an illness or physical or mental health issue to contact
their GP in the first instance.
Positive Energy by Lucy Springsteen-Chatfield
Is work just getting you down? Are you drained and exhausted? Why is
fatigue a daily experience for millions of legal professionals? Sometimes
people become fatigued for a few hours, sometimes for days, months, or
years. What might your fatigue be about?
The normal reasons people look for are late nights, working madly,
depression, physical illness, interrupted sleep, and demands on your
energy from being a business(wo)man, homemaker, parent, etc. There are
often invisible emotional topics that can drain your energy faster than
anything:
Do you enjoy your job? Does thinking about it drain you or energise you?
Do you often feel negative emotions?
Do you experience indecision and internal conflict (part of you wants to
do x while another part wants y)?
Do you feel as if you are banging your head against a brick wall?
Are there negative people around you?
Are you a sensitive person who is affected by negative energies around
you?
Are you empathetic and feel obliged to give your energy away?
Is an illness or its treatment leaving you feeling exhausted?
Do you feel "all over the place", "just not like you?"
Simple techniques of energy hygiene can hugely increase energy and
vitality.
Here are a few concepts that will aid your understanding of your personal
energy:
Everything that exists, including your body, has an energy field, and your
thinking affects your energy field. There is an energy system in the human
body that profoundly affects mental, emotional, and physical health.
Acupuncture and Tai Chi are two well studied systems that promote
emotional and physical health by working with the body's energy system. We
are affected by other people's energy. It's why you start to feel drained
when you are around negative people. It's why you get enthusiastic when
you are around enthusiastic people. It's why you go to social, sport, or
religious events, concerts, rallies, etc. - the energy of the group makes
you feel more alive and excited. Once you know how to clear your energy
field and how to use it well, you can enhance all aspects of your physical
and mental health.
Here are simple ways to easily recover your energy, vitality and health.
Give them a try and with a little practice you will increase your energy
and decrease your fatigue.
Connect to the energy field of the Earth
The earth has a massive energy field and all life on earth evolved to work
with those energies. With modern living we are often running so many
thoughts simultaneously that we can feel frantic activity in or above our
heads. We literally disconnect from our bodies and the earth. Good
athletes, dancers, racing car drivers, martial artists, gymnasts, and
horse riders know how to fully connect to the earth. People refer to this
as being "grounded" or "centered". You will recognise the feeling of being
solidly in your body as against "not being really here". For you to think
clearly, be creative and at your best, it is essential that you feel
grounded.
Clearing your energy field
You have surely noticed that at times it doesn't feel good to be around
certain people. They unload a bucketful of their emotional energy on you,
making you feel tired. You may even start feeling their emotions, as if
they were your own. Coworkers, family, and the media also trigger intense
stored emotions in you, flooding you with anger, guilt, discouragement or
frustration. All of this can blow your fuses leaving you feeling empty,
tired, and unclear. It confuses your decision making and sucks the joy out
of life.
You probably can't imagine not brushing your teeth or washing yourself on
a daily basis. And exactly like your physical body, your energy system
gets clogged and grubby, needing to be cleared at least once a day. If you
clear your energy when you first wake up, you will feel energised and
ready to start the day without reaching for coffee. Clearing before you go
to sleep will make it easier to fall asleep and increase the quality of
sleep and rejuvenation you receive.
Retrieving your energy
We leave bits of our energy in the places and people we interact with. We
also absorb bits of other people's energy. You no doubt recognise the
feeling of being "all over the place", having left your energy in other
places or with other people, which can also leave you feeling drained.
How do you take on less energy from others?
Clearing energy is the first step but it would be better if you could
avoid taking it on in the first place. People tend to absorb energy from
one another, especially when they are emotional. You can communicate with
people without having to take on their energy.
There are 2 perspectives on this. The first one is to maintain boundaries
and the integrity of your energy field without having to resort to a wall
between you and them. Image having a rose between you and the other person
or the environment you are reacting to, e.g. the media, chemicals,
electromagnetic energy. The rose catches the energy and grounds it to the
centre of the earth, so there is no energy transfer to you. The second one
is to view being impacted by other people's energy as an opportunity, a
present, to clear something in your energy that needs addressing. So all
you need to do is run your own clearing process when interacting with
others.
Having a job that you love
Find a part of your current job that you really love. Having a job you
hate drains your energy on a daily basis. Working in a role you really
enjoy will energise you.
Here are 3 short energy-clearing processes for you. Practice them and
notice your experience and that of others. At the beginning of any energy
process sit comfortably and quietly with your feet flat on the floor, arms
and legs uncrossed to maximise your energy flow. Then take 2-3 deep
breaths and allow your muscles to relax. If you hear, feel, or see things
shifting during the process, let it happen. At the end dissolve any images
and send them into the earth for recycling into positive energy, or use
any other metaphor you like to get rid of them. Then be aware of the
sensations in your body. Notice how you feel.
Clearing your energy
Be aware of the sensations in your body Imagine a waste bin that attracts
old emotions, limiting beliefs, pictures, old programming, and energies
that are not yours out of your energy field. Imagine you can turn the bin
over and that the contents just disappear into the ground in an instance.
So you now have a completely empty trash bin, ready for the next time you
want to let go of anything. You don't need to know consciously what is
being released. It is a bit like watching a movie; you don't need to be
directing it. Trust your unconscious mind and spirit to choose the right
energies to release. Now if you feel blocked at all, imagine those blocks
appear to you as bricks and start tossing them in the trash bin and
letting them disappear. When you feel you have finished, imagine a shower
of sunshine flowing down from above you, washing through your energy
field, your whole body, and any excess flowing down into the earth.
Grounding
Imagine yourself as a tree. Your roots go deep into the ground. Nutrients
are flowing into you from the earth through some of these roots. At the
same time the earth is using other roots to gently pull out of you
energies that you have collected that are not yours. Feel free to also let
go of all those busy thoughts down into the ground and see how much calmer
you feel, when grounded. You can ground the whole room too. When you are
in a meeting, think of the whole room being filled with lovely sunshine or
golden energy, and that the room has roots from the floor into the centre
of the earth. Notice what it feels like in the room now, and how people
are more energized and collaborative when the room is grounded.
Retrieving your energy
Close your eyes and imagine a golden ball of energy above your head. Mix
with it some amethyst energy and add some miracle energy. Pay attention to
the golden ball and allow the ball to retrieve your energy from wherever
you may have scattered it in different places and with different people.
Imagine the ball is retrieving your energy, you don't need any more
conscious thought about what or how is happening. When you feel you
have finished, imagine the golden ball cleaning up your energy, charging
it up, and beaming only fresh energy back into your body to revitalize
you, allowing anyone else's to go down into the ground.
Lucy Springsteen-Chatfield is a Life Coach and NLP Practitioner.
www.leadingedgeoflife.com
The Optimist’s Creed
by Christian D. Larson (1874-1954)
I promise myself…
To be so strong that nothing can disturb my peace of mind.
To talk health, happiness, and prosperity to every person I meet.
To make all my friends feel that there is something worthwhile in them.
To look at the sunny side of everything and make my optimism come true.
To think only of the best, to work only for the best, and to expect only
the best.
To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as I am about my
own.
To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater
achievements of the future.
To wear a cheerful expression at all times and give a smile to every
living creature I meet.
To give so much time to improving myself that I have no time to criticize
others.
To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear, and
too happy to permit the presence of trouble.
To think well of myself and to proclaim this fact to the world, not in
loud words, but in great deeds.
To live in the faith that the whole world is on my side, so long as I am
true to the best that is in me.
Noticeboard
A survey by TwoSteps online legal community has revealed that 1 in 8
people have done something they regretted at the office Christmas party,
and 70% of them were male. With the party season about to arrive - you
have been warned!
Christmas and the New Year are the riskiest times for year for relapse
into addiction. LawCare's website now includes an article about how those
in recovery can enjoy Christmas without alcohol, including advice for
those who may be hosting parties and events which recovering alcoholics
will be attending. Click here to read the article.
For those of you who have an iPhone, and who suffer from panic attacks,
there is now an app that you can download from iTunes for 69p to help you
through such an attack. When you open the app, a series of screens will
slowly scroll across, containing simple messages focused on breathing and
guiding you through the panic attack/raised anxiety state. Reviews of the
app have been very positive and this could be a useful resource for those
who suffer from this distressing illness.
Grateful thanks to all those who have made donations to LawCare over the
past three months:
-
The Legal Charities Garden Party
-
Surrey Law Society (proceeds of quiz)
-
Gowen & Stevens (one year's swear fees)
-
A London solicitor who kindly donated £200 but prefers to remain
anonymous.
LawCare News Autumn 2011
How to Switch Off and get a Good Night's Sleep
by Tony Hackett, trainer, author and coach
Difficulty with sleeping affects many people, especially those with
stressful jobs, and has a detrimental effect on their performance at work.
In fact, lack of sleep can be as counterproductive as a hangover. Although
it doesn't get talked about much, about two in three people experience
occasional difficulty sleeping and one in three experiences chronic
problems.
Sleep is vital to our health and well-being, yet many people suffer in
silence, not knowing where to go for help - apart from resorting to
medication. Fortunately, restoring regular sleep is actually quite
straightforward when you understand the principles of sleep management.
One of the main enemies of sleep is an overactive mind. Good sleepers
naturally turn their minds off at bedtime which allows them to fall asleep
quickly; however others go to bed with their heads still "buzzing" which
delays the onset of sleep. The situation can become compounded by worrying
about not sleeping and a negative association with going to bed.
If you let your mind run riot when you're lying in bed with no other
stimuli to distract you, your concerns will go round and round, getting
bigger and bigger, growing teeth and claws! Training your mind to become
quiet to enable sleep is like training a puppy to stay in one place for
more than one second - it takes practice and dedication. So if you have a
lively mind you'd like to tame, try this:
You'll need four things by your bed. A notepad, a pen, a filing tray
labelled "Tomorrow" and a large dustbin. The first two things are real the
last two are virtual! So if you're lying in bed and think of something you
forgot to do, write it down and forget about it until tomorrow. When a
thought comes to mind that isn't sleep promoting, do one of the following
- if it's important but can wait, put it into your virtual filing tray for
you to do tomorrow; if it's rubbish, such as the idiot that nearly caused
a traffic accident on the way home, don't relive the event with the
adrenaline all over again, quickly put the whole event into your virtual
dustbin. Wacky as it might seem, these "mind mechanics" work swiftly to
control thinking breakouts.
Now the gardeners amongst you will know that if you clear some soil of
weeds and leave it bare, very soon you'll have more weeds - unless you
plant something else that you do want to fill the space. Your mind behaves
the same way, so when you've cleared you head of unwanted thoughts, you
need to plant something useful. You can go somewhere pleasant in your mind
- a tropical island beach or the top of a mountain. Or you can try the
mindfulness technique - focus on breathing in and out through your nose
and count each breath on 1 up to 10 then back to 1, then up to 10 in a
continuum.Some other things which help are to yawn freely, change your
position to break a persistent thought, and keep your eyes still to induce
dreaminess. Imagine a notice on your bedroom door that says "No thinking
allowed beyond this point" and remember this - "There are many thoughts
that would gladly haunt our minds at bedtime and deprive us of our most
needed sleep. Yet there are few issues that cannot wait until tomorrow to
be addressed with an objective mind".
Tony is a personal development trainer, author and coach specialising in
stress and sleep management. He works extensively with law firms both
directly and through the main legal training companies. Tony can be
contacted on 01562 710029 or
tony@thesleepwellmethod.co.uk.
www.thesleepwellmethod.co.uk.
Book Review: Help them Beat the Booze - How to Survive Life with a
Problem Drinker
by Edmund and Helen Tirbutt
I volunteered to review this book as I find its predecessor Beat the Booze
so useful in my helpline work.
So why would you want to buy this book? Well, given that according to the
World Health Organisation, about 76 million people worldwide suffer from
alcohol-related disorders at any one time (p5), it is almost certain that
either, you, or, someone you know will be in the position of looking on
and wondering how to best help a problem drinker.
The book is interwoven with case studies. All offer insights into the
minds of both the problem drinker and those in a potential or genuine
position to help. Familiar concepts such as tough love are discussed, but
also more formalized approaches such as FRAMES an acronym for the
techniques that need to be implemented, Feedback, Responsibility, Advice,
Menu of Options, Empathy & Self-Efficacy. What I liked best was the Family
Intervention policy where the drinker hears first-hand how his/her
drinking affects others and also the positive messages of how much they
are loved and will be supported if they decide to start on the road to
recovery.
Sensible advice is given on how to help with cravings. The benefits of AA
are highlighted as well as the simple use of distractions such as puzzles
or even eating something or simply accentuating the positive things in the
life of the drinker . One very important point that runs through the book
is the importance of those affected to remain focussed on their own
happiness and health rather than get dragged down and mired in
co-dependency.
There are two excellent chapters detailing different treatments, both
conventional unconventional. The final two chapters are about looking
after yourself and the children of problem drinkers as all too often it is
the problem drinker who becomes everyone’s focus to the neglect of those
closely involved.
This is a book that deserves a wide readership among those who are
affected by the issue of problem drinking, those who are addicts and the
world at large. It brings together a mass of innovative material, retreads
familiar ground and leaves the reader with a sense of excitement at the
new possibilities to help loved ones beat the booze. Thank you to the
Tirbutts.
Mary B Jackson, LawCare Co-Ordinator Ireland
Click here to buy Help them Beat the Booze on Amazon.
A Message from the Chief Executive
Over the last 25 years, the percentage of the population aged 65 and over
in the UK increased from 15% in 1985 to 17% in 2010, an increase of 1.7
million people. By 2035, 23% of the population is projected to be aged 65
and over, compared to 18% aged under 16. The fastest population increase
has been in the number of those aged 85 and over, the oldest old. In 1985,
there were around 690,000 people in the UK aged 85 and over, but since
then, the numbers have more than doubled, reaching 1.4 million in 2010. By
2035, the number of people aged 85 and over is projected to be 2.5 times
larger than in 2010, reaching 3.6 million and accounting for 5 per cent of
the total population.
With these statistics, it is imperative that the legal professions have a
plan of action for their aging professionals. At one time, a graceful
retirement at 60 - 65, followed perhaps by a few years working part-time,
was a reasonable projection, but nowadays, with the collapse in the values
of pensions and property, and the difficulty of disposing of a practise
for Solicitors, means that many people are being forced to work long after
they want to do so and, in some case, are fit to do so.
Inevitably, many of those approaching middle age (45 - 65) and old age
(65+) will struggle with health issues as they age. For many, the aging
process is what will impact their ability to continue to practice law in
the same manner that they have throughout their careers. With ageing, it
is reasonable to expect that there may be a gradual decline in hearing,
eyesight, physical ability, memory and retention, sleep issues, bladder
control and mental and emotional health.
Necessarily, this has implications for a lawyer's practise. Mishandled
cases; breach of ethical rules; decline in work performance; missed
deadlines; unreturned phone calls; bills unpaid; and bizarre behaviour are
all possible scenarios for the aging lawyer. Aging alone does not indicate
decline, as some people remain robust, both mentally and physically, until
long after full retirement. So it is essential to assess each aging
lawyer's issues individually, as on occasions, there may be treatable
medical reasons that may explain a decline.
Regardless of the issues the elderly lawyer may be facing, it is essential
that those involved create a positive and supportive atmosphere. It is
critical that the dignity and right to self-determination of that lawyer
is upheld. Often, an individual's entire sense of self worth, self esteem
and self confidence are bound up in his / her identity as a lawyer. If
this identity is threatened, it may create a negative impact on their well
being, the stress of which will only aggravate any existing medical or
psychological problems. This difficult life transition needs to be made as
tolerable as possible for the individual aging lawyer and you can download
LawCare's information pack on this topic from our website
www.lawcare.org.uk. or ring us to discuss any problems.
Hilary Tilby
With thanks to Megan Robertson, MSW, LSW. Clinical
Associate, Ohio Lawyers Assistance Program.
Competition
LawCare has information packs on subjects such as stress, alcohol,
redundancy and alternative careers, but we are always looking to develop
more. If you have any suggestions for topics we might cover email them to
admin@lawcare.org.uk. The best suggestion will win a signed copy of Anna
Jones Buttimore's new book, No Escape.
(Click here to see
topics which are already covered.)
LawCare News Summer 2011
Top Tips for Lawyers Struggling to Enjoy their Career
by Tessa Armstrong, Solicitor and Coach
Through my coaching practice, I have seen a rise in lawyers saying they
feel their career is out of their control and they no longer enjoy what
they are doing. They have invested time and money in their career and want
to enjoy it, yet are now feeling stressed, de-motivated and alone and are
picturing a life away from the law.
If this rings a bell with you, you are not alone.
As lawyers you have to manage a number of work demands each day and face
inevitable challenges along the way. These can be dealing with difficult
clients, taking responsibility for a heavy case load or achieving
chargeable time targets. Whilst managing these demands, you also want to
achieve the best results in everything you do. The demands you experience
are numerous and mean that you are working under immense pressure every
day.
As this pressure increases, lawyers often become overwhelmed by the
challenges they face but feel there is nothing they can do about it. Many
just keep going for fear of appearing incompetent. Others feel that they
can't complain because they should be happy to have a job.
If this is familiar to you, the good news is that there is something you
can do about it. There are choices and you can either keep on doing what
you are doing or you can take action and investigate making a change in
your career.
If you decide to take action, here are some initial options for you to
consider:
1. Find a solution to the challenges you face
Identify the challenges you face at work and decide what outcome you want
instead. Once you have decided on the outcome, identify what obstacles and
challenges are in the way of you achieving what you want and have a think
about what action you can take to overcome them. It can sometimes be as
simple as asking for help more frequently.
2. Changing Job
Decide whether it is the content of your job or the working environment
that is not suiting you. If it is the working environment, start
identifying alternative firms and companies you would like to work for.
3. Changing Specialism
There are many lawyers wanting to change direction within their legal
career but prevent themselves from doing so for numerous reasons such as
limited opportunities, decrease in pay as well as fear and lack of
confidence. If you are de-motivated in your current role and wondering
whether you are better suited to an alternative area of law, put together
a list of alternative specialisms of interest to you and start talking to
lawyers working in those specialisms to discover whether an alternative
area of law would suit you.
4. Career Change
If you are wondering whether a career change is for you, it is really
important to assess what you would like your career to include and whether
a new career is the answer. Think about what skills and working
environments suit you. Identify career and job ideas and start networking
in these areas to find out more and enable you to decide whether a career
change is right for you.
These considerations are going to take a bit of extra time and thought but
this will be the best way to find out what change is required in your
career. Remember, if you keep doing what you are doing, you will keep
getting the same result. By taking action, you will be able to control
your working life and be happier at work.
Tessa is a qualified solicitor and coach providing specialist career
support for lawyers. For more information or to arrange a free
consultation visit her website at
www.tessaarmstrong.co.uk, email coaching@tessaarmstrong.co.uk
or telephone 07989 343195.
Female Lawyers Believe Male Peers Earn More
Recent research by website twosteps.com discovered that 100% of senior
female lawyers felt their male peers were still earning more than them.
The research, which surveyed 500 lawyers and legal professionals, found
some interesting results regarding perceptions and pay. Most men appear
not to be threatened by their female colleagues as 70% feel they earn the
same or more than their female peers.
There has been continuous debate around whether employers should adhere to
open salary policies or the introduction of compulsory boardroom ratios of
men to women. Some European countries have already introduced these
policies and boast huge positive effects on business and the economy. Both
Norway and France have been pioneers in this field. The New York Times
also confirmed that an analysis by the consulting firm McKinsey found that
the operational profit of companies with the most women on boards was 56%
higher than those with men only at the top level. Boards with more women
also surpass all-male boards in auditing, risk oversight and control.
The twosteps research also compared weekly working hours and identified
that generally men were working more hours a week than women. The survey
found that whilst 53% of women worked 30-40 hours, 68% of men were working
40-60 hours. This could however be explained by a lack of flexible working
options. Only 30% of the UK employers offered their staff flexible
working. This was significantly less than employers in most other
countries including Australia (60%) the US (68%) and Germany (75%). The
lack of flexible working opportunities could be feeding the endless
struggle of complete gender equality as women are still predominantly the
primary carers in many parenting relationships.
With UK employers not supporting flexible working and women unable to work
more hours this could explain why the same research also found that 8%
more men received bonuses last year than women. Interestingly, 60% of both
male and female lawyers also feel they aren't paid enough for what they
do.
On the plus side the research found that UK employers give on average 5
extra days annual holiday allowance than Australia and the US. This is
probably due to the infamous British weather and British people needing to
take holidays abroad to get their vitamin D fix.
You can read the full salary survey results at
http://twosteps.com/salary-survey-report/
Book Review: Effective Stress Management Techniques for
Lawyers by Catrin Mills
Catrin Mills, herself a lawyer, has written this small book, described as
a report. Whilst reading it, I heard my own voice echoing the sentiments
and views expressed by the LawCare team in our CPD seminars on this very
topic. Ms Mills certainly gives LawCare considerable coverage, quoting
both Hilary Tilby, our CEO and Anna Buttimore, our administrator.
It is a scholarly work, with many sources acknowledged at the end of each
of its six chapters. For me, as a former lawyer, the most interesting
chapters were 4 & 6, entitled Manage your Thinking & Changing Our Culture,
respectively. Her premise in Chapter 4 is that "lawyers can use their
legal skills to re-interpret stress-inducing events and to analyse their
own personal stress reaction". In essence, replace the negative response
to stress with a more constructive attitude using mindfulness and task
concentration.
Chapter 6 is visionary, calling upon firms to be aware of occupational
stress and the need to address it, which, on a positive note she indicates
some city firms have already taken on board. An interesting argument is
propounded by James Dunning, namely that individual lawyers should be
given different targets, based on their strengths. If that were to become
the norm it would be truly ground-breaking.
All in all, a well-researched and informative little book offering a mix
of ideas on stress management techniques, some of which are quite radical.
However, as it bears a price tag of £145, I would have thought its likely
buyers will be the Managing Partners or HR Directors of large firms.
Mary B. Jackson, Co-ordinator (Ireland), LawCare.
A Message from the Chief Executive: My inner child?
Psychiatrist Dr Shelley Uram, a Senior Fellow at the Meadows Treatment
Centre in Arizona, USA and Clinical Associate Professor of Psychiatry at
the Arizona University College of Medicine, attributes our behaviour as
adults to how our brains have been "hardwired" by childhood experiences.
When born, we have no awareness of ourselves as an individual, i.e. no
sense of "I", as the sense of "I" only starts to develop when we are about
3 months old. It is initially unformed, but gradually takes shape as we
mature. At that early age, it is known as the authentic self, because it
is absolutely untouched by any life experiences at that point. However, as
we get older, so the experiences that we have overlay that authentic self
with various learned beliefs, many of which may be inaccurate and give
rise to conflict within ourselves.
For example, if a child has a parent who demands, either overtly or
covertly, that a child always does what pleases the parent, and if the
child fails to deliver withdraws parental approval and love, the child
will quickly learn that "I am only loveable if I please those around me
all of the time". This is a false belief because one does not have to
please those around you in order for them to love you, but because the
child is dependant on the parent for nurturing and survival this is a very
strong message that gets embedded into the child's psyche. It may be an
incorrect conclusion to draw from the parent's behaviour, but it is what
has been perceived by the child's brain and locked deep into that child's
mental make up. The same reaction will, therefore, be elicited by the same
circumstances, even in adulthood.
As we move through childhood and into adulthood, so we build more and more
layers of learned beliefs into our psyches. These learned beliefs are
frequently at odds with the authentic self that is still in our brains,
albeit increasingly buried beneath these added layers.This conflict can
lead to feelings of negativity which impact adversely on our mental and
physical wellbeing. It can also lead to people turning to addictive
substances as a mean of dulling the pain of the negative feelings,
depression etc. that result from this lack of core peace.
The main problem for lawyers lays in failing to recognise when this inner
conflict exists. We are so focused on logic and the factual in our daily
professional lives that we frequently are deaf to, and lose sight of, what
is actually happening inside our own heads and bodies. Once recognised,
such issues can be dealt with by counselling, but the effects of being at
war with oneself have to be appreciated by the sufferer first. They will
be different for everyone, but if there is negativity and / or addiction
in your life, it will pay you to seek help. LawCare can help to point you
in the right direction.
Hilary Tilby
Many thanks to Cockshotts Peck Lewis in Southport who
generously donated the balances in their untraceable client accounts to
LawCare. Thanks also to Hugo and Pat of Fitzhugh Gates who arranged for
the delivery of some LawCare materials.
LawCare offers free (except for expenses) CPD accredited
presentations and seminars on a range of subjects including Vicarious
Trauma, Time Management and Effective Email.
Click here for more information or phone
01268 771333.
Follow LawCare on Twitter at
www.twitter.com/lawcareltd or Like us on Facebook at
www.facebook.com/lawcare
LawCare News Spring 2011
A Happy Lawyer is Good for Business
by Simon Price, Life Coach
“Happiness is the meaning of life and the purpose of life, the whole
aim and the end of human existence”
Aristotle said that 2000 years ago and he was right. But studies
in both North America and the UK have shown that lawyers are amongst the
unhappiest of professionals. Despite this, huge numbers are still signing up to
study law. So what happens to people once they qualify to make them so unhappy?
The law is a stressful profession. Long hours are the norm, leading to a lack of
time and energy to take exercise or eat properly, and ill health, stress, burn
out and depression ensue. However, stress and depression are symptomatic of
unhappiness and not causative.
Why are lawyers so unhappy?
In a recent study Professor Martin Seligman identified 3 possible reasons
for lawyer unhappiness:
1. pessimism;
2. low decision latitude;
3. win-loss game
Pessimism
In legal practise, pessimists do better than optimists. To see troubles
before they arise, to foresee every potential disaster are traits that are
valued in a lawyer. However, such pessimistic traits then overflow into other
areas of a lawyer’s life and pessimism in any other realm of life is not good.
Low decision latitude
This refers to the number of choices a lawyer believes he has. It can be a
particular problem for junior lawyers who have limited choices available to them
in high stress environments. Often in the first few years of practice, young
lawyers are isolated away from clients, with only limited contact with their
superiors. A heavy workload combines to make the lawyer feel that the choices
they have are limited if they are to progress towards partnership.
Win-loss game
The adversarial nature of the Irish legal system opens up a win-loss game
at every turn. The win-loss mentality is systemic and becomes ingrained in the
people that work within it. Seligman believes the win-loss personality trait is
the deepest cause of lawyer unhappiness.
So what can be done to turnaround lawyer unhappiness?
Firstly, firms need to make a commitment to improving the happiness of their
lawyers. Happiness is a subjective value that can be objectively measured.
People view happiness in different ways. Seligman suggests that it is important
to understand a person’s strengths and to develop those strengths rather than
make them work on weaknesses.
Pressure is an inevitable consequence of practicing law. Giving
lawyers more decision latitude can make them feel more satisfied. Give them more
control over their working day. Reduce repetitive tasks.
The win-loss scenario is systemic and there is no easy answer. A
potential solution is to identify the “signature strengths” of your lawyers.
Each lawyer you employ will be intelligent and have high verbal and reasoning
skills. But each lawyer comes with unused strengths such as emotional
intelligence, leadership, and social intelligence. When people feel that they
use their particular strengths they feel respected, their morale increases and
so does their happiness. As Seligman points out “There is a clear correlation
between positive emotion at work and high productivity.”
The Future
Law firms have to act before lawyer unhappiness reaches epidemic proportions
and depression, stress and ill health become the norm. By taking proactive
action law firms can increase the social and emotional well-being and happiness
of their lawyers, which in turn helps to increase productivity and increases the
bottom line. What law firm wouldn’t want that?
Female Lawyers Believe Male
Peers Earn More
A survey by jobs board twosteps showed that 61% of women lawyers thought they
earned less than men, while 100% of those earning £95,000 or more believed their
male peers were better paid.
The survey suggested that women lawyers generally worked shorter hours than
their male counterparts. More than half (53%) of women reported that they worked
30-40 hours a week, while 33% worked 40-50 hours and 17% worked 50-60 hours.
However, only 15% of men said they worked 30-40 hours, compared with 39% who
worked 40-50 hours and 29% who worked 50-60 hours.
Overall, 70% of all respondents to the survey, male and female, claimed that
they regularly worked 50 hours or more each week. The survey questioned a total
of 500 lawyers across Europe, Asia, Australia and the US.
Book Review: Effective Stress
Management Techniques for Lawyers by Catrin Mills
Reviewed by Mary B. Jackson,
Co-ordinator (Ireland), LawCare.
Catrin Mills, herself a lawyer, has written this small book, described as a
report. Whilst reading it, I heard my own voice echoing the sentiments and views
expressed by the LawCare team in our CPD seminars on this very topic. Ms Mills
certainly gives LawCare considerable coverage, quoting both Hilary Tilby, our
CEO and Anna Buttimore, our administrator.
It is a scholarly work, with many sources acknowledged at the end of each of
its six chapters. For me, as a former lawyer, the most interesting chapters were
4 and 6, entitled Manage your Thinking and Changing Our Culture,
respectively. Her premise in Chapter 4 is that “lawyers can use their legal
skills to re-interpret stress-inducing events and to analyse their own personal
stress reaction”. In essence, replace the negative response to stress with a
more constructive attitude using mindfulness and task concentration.
Chapter 6 is visionary, calling upon firms to be aware of occupational stress
and the need to address it, which, on a positive note she indicates some city
firms have already taken on board. An interesting argument is propounded by
James Dunning, namely that individual lawyers should be given different
targets, based on their strengths. If that were to become the norm it would be
truly ground-breaking…
All in all, a well-researched and informative little book offering a mix of
ideas on stress management techniques, some of which are quite radical. However,
as it bears a price tag of £145, I would have thought its likely buyers will be
the Managing Partners or HR Directors of large firms.
Noticeboard
A report by the Small Firms Association
has shown that stress has replaced back pain as the leading cause of absenteeism
from work. The average number of days per employee per year taken as sickness
absence is 7 in small firms, 10 in larger firms.
Website
AskMen.com has compiled a list of the heaviest drinking countries in which
it names Ireland at number 1 with a per capita consumption of 14.2 litres
of pure alcohol per year. It also notes that 48% of Irish men binge drink
at least once per week, compared to 9% of French men - France was tenth on
the list.
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